Expanding Joy Coaching

I just turned 30 this year, and I always thought I would’ve been married by now. Instead I have found myself in several very long term, deep relationships. The last one I actually thought we would marry. Instead I broke it off with him after figuring out that he actually brought too much negative energy to my life. Once again I am disappointed and frustrated with being lonely and not finding the right companion! I am starting to think life might be better for me without the expectation of a partner. Instead, just enjoying my life the way it is. The rest of my life feels like its falling together nicely in terms of work, play and rest. Any thoughts?

- Suzanne

Suzanne, the universe is a wonderful mirror that offers us insight into what we believe. What this means is that every physical manifestation starts out as a belief whether it is one that serves us well in what we want to accomplish or one that does not serve us so well. If it’s one that is not serving us very well, the universe will continue to spit out physical manifestations that match that belief until we become aware of the belief and consciously change it. If you keep experiencing relationships that have the same pattern of being long term but ultimately not the right fit, then a powerful question to ask yourself is “What do all these relationships have in common?” And then, “What is the belief (usually fear based) that doesn’t serve me that underlies that common theme?” A few possibilities are: “I am afraid of being alone”, or similarly, “My life is not complete without a partner”, or “I don’t deserve a partner that is a perfect fit”, or “A partner that is a true fit for me just doesn’t exist”. All of these can cause you to stay in a long term relationship that isn’t going anywhere because fear is playing a part in attracting in the relationship and/or fear is playing a part in your decision to stay in the relationship. So do any of the above fear based beliefs, or some version of them, ring true for you?

After you become clear about the old, limiting belief you have been holding on to, then you can start consciously replacing it with another empowering belief like “I deserve a long term partner that is truly the right fit, I know he/she is out there, and I am at peace with whenever he or she decides to show up.” And an important belief to compliment that is, “I am whole, perfect, and complete with or without a relationship”. That is why I really like the new intention you have put out about just enjoying life the way it is without a partner and focusing on the areas that are going well. Letting go of that expectation can be very powerful in releasing resistance and enjoying your life just the way it is.  In addition, seeing yourself as complete just the way you are, will raise your vibration to the level of the kind of partner you truly want to attract in. Then, when your partner shows up, and he will… he will be a vibrational match to what you truly want, which is someone who knows you are his perfect fit, knows he deserves you, knows he doesn’t NEED to be with you, but WANTS to be with you, and sees the power of your partnership. And with that partner it will be clear to both of you that marriage is in the cards.

In these tough economic times, what are some practical ways we can manifest wealth?

- Linda

That’s a great question Linda and one that I believe is on the minds of many people these days.  First and foremost, all the action in the world cannot produce the consistent, steady stream of income we all desire if we are consistenly creating our lives from a place of lack.  All manifestation starts as a belief, so if your predominant belief and vibration is based on lack or “not enough”, the law of attraction can only draw to you more of the same.  Changing your beliefs about money and the way to respond to money is first and foremost. Only after your beliefs, and therefore vibration, starts to reflect the abundance that is your true nature, can the ideas, people and circumstances needed to create wealth and consistently live abundantly start showing up.

So, here are some practical tools you can do every day to start raising your vibration and shifting your beliefs around money.

1. Let go of any blame, guilt and shame around money and replace it with forgiveness & acceptance- blaming, guilt and shame about your situation holds you down in that low vibration of disempowerment that blocks the flow.  Forgiving yourself or others who you feel contributed to your current money situation and making peace with where you are will start to raise your vibration up and open you to hope and possibility.

2. Replace fear-based thoughts (ex. There is no way I am going to get a high paying job in this economy.) which just feed the ego and perpetuate the lack mentality with empowering, solution-focused ones (ex. There are plenty of people getting great jobs out there every day and so it is possible for me as well.) But don’t just say them if you don’t believe them.  Find thoughts that feel better but are also BELIEVABLE.

3. Ask empowering, solution-focused questions. Linda, you have a perfect example in your question above.  “What are some practical ways I can manifest more wealth in my life?” or the one on my wall… “What are some easy, effortless ways I can manifest money this month?” The ideas, people and circumstances are out there, and asking these empowering questions will start tuning you to the vibration of what you are looking for.

4. Prove your new belief! Go looking for proof that what you want to experience is out there.  Talk to friends who are flourishing in this economy and find out how they do it.  Read books and articles about people who do what you like to do that are very successful. For the example in #2,  look at Craig’s list and count out all the high paying jobs that are being offered right now.

Changing your beliefs is a daily practice.  It takes time and intention.  Be gentle with yourself.  You don’t have to be perfect with it.  Like many things, the more you practice it, the easier it will get.

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Just a little reminder of the Guiding Principles of Expanding Joy Coaching

1)The Truth of who you are, your natural state of being, is love, joy, wholeness, wellness, abundance and peace. These principles were created to guide you back to that Truth.

2) Without exception, your beliefs create your reality through the Law of Attraction.  When you remember your Truth, and believe your Truth, the universe will support you in Living your Truth.

3) There is a stream of well-being always flowing towards all that you truly desire.  As you hold on to beliefs contrary to your Truth, you are paddling upstream.  As you begin believing your Truth, you will start floating downstream.

4) You have an inner wisdom always available inside you.  When tapped into, this inner wisdom will always guide you back to your Truth and in turn towards the experiences you desire (money, health, healthy relationships etc.) that reflect that Truth.

5) Through releasing old limiting beliefs that contradict your Truth and creating new empowering beliefs that align with your Truth, a whole world of possibilities will unfold before you to guide you to all you desire.

6) If you want to live a different experience consistently, you must first tell a different story consistently.  It’s time to tell the story of your Truth.

So, the wonderful man in my life made a great suggestion that I think many in the Expanding Joy Community will be really excited about.  I am now offering my blog as a sort of “Dear Abby”.

Do you have a burning question about the Law of Attraction like “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of guy that is no good for me?”.   Or would you like to find an empowered way to handle a particular situation in your life like “How do I deal with the gossipy ladies in my office that are driving me crazy?”.  Would you love the advice of an Certified Empowerment Coach and Law of Attraction Mentor?

Then post your questions in the comment section of this blog or send me your questions through my online form (on the “Contact” page) and I will respond to them in an upcoming blog.  I will be posting once a week.  So…. ASK AWAY!

A little food for thought about Abundance…. I thought this poem was particularly appropriate during this time many are calling a “Recession”. I am including this poem to remind us that “Recession” (aka “Lack Consciousness”) and “Abundance” are just patterns of belief… Which belief would you rather create from?

ABUNDANCE

Abundance is something you are, not something you have

Abundance is what you give, not what you get

Abundance is a heart attitude, not a bank account

Abundance is a life style, not a house style

Abundance is a concept, not a collection

Abundance is sharing what you love, not counting you shares

Abundance is knowing everything is loaned to you, not thinking how much you own

Abundance doesn’t depend on riches but on God’s amazing resources

Abundance is sharing God’s wealth with anyone and everyone you can!

- By Jeannie Knot