It has come to my attention that quite often people are unaware of the difference between sharing your feelings with another and dumping your feelings on another. Sharing your feelings can serve you greatly. Dumping rarely does.
Let me start by reiterating that it is healthy and vital that you feel your emotions when they come up vs. pushing them down. They do need to come out. Emotion= energy in motion. You want it to move, not stay stuck. That being said, what you do with that emotion when it comes up is very important if you want to experience more peace, wellbeing and power in your life.
Emotions are an indicator as to where you are vibrationally and whether your ego is at the forefront or your authentic self. Any negative emotions (those below the line on the Emotional Scale) you experience are just an indicator of thoughts and ultimately a belief system that is not serving you. Emotions, thought they may be triggered by something outside of you are never actually about anything outside of you. They are based on your beliefs, perceptions, interpretations of that situation. When you keep your focus on blaming and judging others, you have now just given all of your power away. You have no control over others & what they do. You have 100% control on how you perceive the situation and if you choose to take it personally or not.
One of the core principles of true empowerment is taking 100% ownership for your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. This includes releasing your emotions in healthy ways (I recommend kick boxing or chopping wood!) and responding to others in loving, respectful ways.
Dumping your feelings on another happens anytime you share how you are feeling from a place of blame, judgment, disapproval, needing them to change for you to be ok etc. It’s literally dumping your emotions on to the other person. In this space your wellbeing is at the whim of the outside world and vibrationally you are no where near solution, connection or awareness. In addition, you have just dropped the other persons vibration in the process making it even more difficult to find a common solution.
Sharing your feelings, on the other hand, is about sharing what is going on for you. Stating that something that has happened has triggered an emotion in you that is not serving you and that you are committed to cleaning up your vibration (not the other person’s actions!). It is often better to do this with someone objective and supportive (rarely the person who you are feeling negatively about). Then, after you have made peace with what is and are in the realm of solution, you are in a powerful space to return to that person who triggered you to calmly and respectfully work on a solution that may work for both of you. From this place, your power is within, your vibration is higher and the likelyhood of solution has increased exponentially.
So, ask yourself next time you get mad and want to let someone have it…. is this serving me in getting effectively towards solution in an empowering, loving way? (hint: the answer is always NO) Instead, do the inner work to move up the scale to peace. Then if you still feel it is relevant to discuss the situation, come from respect and love. You catch more bees with honey.
