For many of us, getting rid of an emotion that feels painful like sadness, guilt, anger, anxiety, or worry means putting on a happy face. This means shoving in back down into the abyss within from which it came and pretending it isn’t there. This can be a result of just disliking the feeling so much that you just want to make it go away as quickly as possible or it may be a result of you concluding at some point in your life that feeling “negative” emotions just isn’t ok or acceptable. For many of us, it is a little of both.
For me growing up, it was definitely both. You see it was “my job” to take care of everyone else so I wasn’t allowed to show any negative emotions because I “needed to be strong” for everyone else, or at least that is what my Ego had concluded. So I shoved them away over and over only for them to rear their ugly heads over and over when I was alone. And, of course, eventually they started to show up physically as digestive problems, back pain, headaches etc. Sound familiar? The details of why you decided to shove down the emotion may have been different from mine, but the results are always the same. Shoving them down doesn’t get rid of them, it just pisses them off!!
So, then the question remains…. How do we ACTUALLY get rid of emotional pain? Have you ever heard the expression, “What you resist persists”? Well the same is true when it comes to our emotional pain. The more we push is away, the more powerful it gets. It is unawareness that feeds it. To truly release emotional pain, you have to bring it to the light. You have to let it bubble to the surface, move its way through your body, and allow it to release naturally. The key to doing this effectively is understanding what is happening. Remembering that you are feeling this pain in order to release it. Separate the pain from the story that caused it. Processing why that situation or person upset you so much will come down the line, but not when you are in the midst of the emotion. Just let yourself feel it without judgment and without identifying with it.
For the ladies, having your period is a great time to practice this. All kinds of past emotional pain (and maybe collective pain as well) flows out during this time. It’s like our protection filters that usually hold the emotions down inside are thinner so we can’t hold them in as well as we do the rest of the time. Which is good (yes, I said good!). Because it gives you the opportunity to release all those old emotions that have been festering inside… IF you can hold a level of awareness. IF you can commit to allowing the emotions to be there and release when they are ready without actually identifying with them and the story they are attached to.
So, try it next time you start to feel an emotion come on. Just allow yourself to bring awareness to it and feel it without judgment or story. Just let it be and allow it to release in its perfect time. You will find that it will often release quicker then you expected.
